IC Contact Post

[popparazzi]

YO~

Hughes here! Leave a message and I'll get back to you!

Oh, and would you like to see my darling Elicia~ and beautiful Gracia~?

Comments

[ignitethesky]

I promise that if you do it, I'll gladly sit down and look at every picture you have of Gracia and Elicia -twice- and will listen to every story you want to tell no matter how many times I've probably heard it in the past.

[popparazzi]

....

What did you do?

[ignitethesky]

You need to explain something to Lieutenant Hawkeye.

[popparazzi]

Oh?

[ignitethesky]

...because I can't take this back and I think I screwed up and I don't know how to fix it but it NEEDS TO BE FIXED.

[popparazzi]

Wait, I'm confused. What can't you take back and what has to be fixed?

[ignitethesky]

[Deep breath because this is going to be one hell of a run-on]

She asked me about Iolanthe and I told her that there isn't anything between us and that she's just a replacement and she wanted to know what she was a replacement for so I told her and I think I embarrassed her and then she kept asking questions and I wanted to skirt it but I couldn't and I pretty much told her that I wanted her but not really because I can't overstep the boundaries but she kept pushing and then she asked me if I wanted her and I don't know how to answer that because I do but if I tell her that, she'll get upset and then I'll be in trouble again and [PAUSE FOR BREATH] I don't think she realizes what it is she's asking because the way she gets all flustered when anything like that comes up makes me think that...

...no...

No way...

I...

[DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUN]

HAS NOBODY EXPLAINED SEX TO THIS WOMAN?

[popparazzi]

[Very long silence here. Wow, Roy, Maes didn't think you had it in you.]

[Coughs lightly]

Well, she did go through the Academy, same as us. I can't believe she didn't learn something.

[ignitethesky]

. . . . . .

[Did he just admit to what he thinks he admitted? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Now Hughes will NEVER let him live it down.]

C-can I take that back?

[popparazzi]

[Oh, Hughes is wearing a shit-eating grin right now. Roy can probably hear it in his voice.]

Nope, no can do, Buddy~

[ignitethesky]

Please? I've already embarrassed myself enough as it is...

[popparazzi]

You're kidding right? Did you actually ask her if she knew anything about sex?

[ignitethesky]

I-- NO! What kind of question is that?!

[popparazzi]

Well then, you haven't embarrassed yourself.

Besides, this is me. What, did you honestly think I'm going to go over to her Forge and leave a message like "Oh, Lieutenant Hawkeye~ Guess what your Colonel did~"?

[ignitethesky]

Do it and I will burn your pictures.

...actually, I was going to ask you to try to talk to her and maybe put in a good word or two, but now that's changed.

[...]

[He can't believe he's asking this]

I want you to give her the talk.

[popparazzi]

The talk....?

Roy, the Lieutenant is a grown woman. I reserved 'the talk' for young girls under the age of eighteen and only when she started talking about boys that I would have had to shoot. Unless you want me to shoot you.

[ignitethesky]

...that works.

[popparazzi]

Are you always this melodramatic? I knew you were bad sometimes, but not this bad.

Just tell her the truth, Roy. She's always struck me as a woman that values honesty.

[ignitethesky]

...can I hide under your bed so that when she comes to drag me out and execute me, I have a sliver of a chance?

[popparazzi]

Don't you think that'd be the first place she'd look?

[ignitethesky]

I figure that if I barricade my door, she might think I was there and just trying to keep her out while I beat a hasty retreat. It might throw her off a little.

[popparazzi]

So it'd buy you... what? An extra five minutes, maybe?

[ignitethesky]

That's plenty long enough to write out a will.

[popparazzi]

This is true.

I'll make sure it's clean under there. And that there's something for you to hide behind.

[ignitethesky]

And if I die, I want you to take care of Allison.